Operation: Piss of the Planet: Republigoth Representatives Walter Jones (N.C.) and Bob Ney (Ohio), and all the other xenophobic muttonheads renaming fried potatoes, et al. |
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Got a Hillbilly to show off? Send him/her in! or: Say yer piece in our guestbook. Previous Hillbillies (most recent first): dethroned Senate (Gives A New Meaning To) Majority Leader Trent Lott Alabama Chief "Justice" Roy Moore Attorney General John "Speaking in Tongues" Ashcroft Suave dinosaur, Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld U.S. Representatives Brian Kerns and Stephen Buyer Lafayette busybody, Rosanna Fassnacht John Thomas Cripps and the Mississippi electorate Lafayette landlord, Michael Johnson
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There are a lot of dumbasses out there. In the current war frenzy, few can compete with those rushing to change the names of all things called French--French fries, French toast, French doors, French kissing (not that these upstanding dweebs engage in that sort of thing), French horns, etc., ad nauseam. Leading the charge are two members of Congress who are old enough to know better, Walter Jones (R-N.C.) and Bob Ney (R-Ohio). Angry over France's refusal in the United Nations to give the Bush junta a fig leaf to justify its imperial conquest of Iraq, these two yokels struck a blow for idiocy when they worked to change the names of Congressional cafeteria items. Voila! "French fries" become "freedom fries." "French toast" becomes "freedom toast." Bon apetit. Such a faux patriotic gesture has not been seen since these two organ donors were in 7th grade. Of course, there are a whole herd of lackwits who think France is our enemy and ought to be attacked. No doubt, these same intellectual luminaries probably believe that Iraq was behind the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. Morons all. Those most angry at France for refusing to grant Bush an automatic war against Iraq are fond of citing history, referring to France as "appeasers" of Saddam Hussein and recalling that the U.S. bailed France out at the end of World War II. While U.S. forces certainly liberated France at the end of World War II, We're not so sure it's a good idea to take credit today for something our grandfathers and great-grandfathers did 60 years ago. Of course, if history is to be quoted, we might also want to thank the French for bailing us out during the American Revolution. Living in Lafayette, Indiana, the Frankinatra.com staff are always reminded of our indebtedness to the heroic Marquis de Lafayette. As for appeasement, that's a funny thing. First, we think since their country was the one that was invaded and occupied, France is in a much better position to recognize naked aggression than the U.S.--besides, we seem to recall the U.S. watching on the sidelines for more than two years before being concerned enough about Nazi aggression to take a stand. Prior to the U.S. invasion of Iraq, it wasn't Saddam making demands for regime change, but Baby Doc Bush and his cartel of oily friends. If anything, the appeasement would have come if France and the rest of the world would have given Dumbya and his fascist pals carte blanche to conquer Iraq by giving their approval in the U.N. But Jones and Ney are just the start of this childish, payback diplomacy. Despite using the worn cliché of "we agree to disagree" in public pronouncements, Baby Doc has even ordered the menu items changed on Air Force One. It goes without saying, of course, that a genuine leader would order such sophomoric antics stopped. But we haven't had a leader in some time, just a murderous cowboy who has demonstrated time and again his genuine and thorough contempt for democratic principles. France is our truest friend. Like the friend who warns you when you are about to do something incredibly stupid, France cannot watch while we engage in an illegal war predicated not on fact, but on fear. |
 Pommes frites: Knuckle-dragging Republigoth Representative Walter Jones strikes a blow for idiocy by renaming artery-blocking fried potatoes
Mon dieu!: The other dipshit in the "piss of the planet" strategy, Representative Bob Ney, a Repuglican from Ohio
Pommes de terre: The offensive spuds
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